Homecoming
by WelshClaire
Summary: Post Greater Love, Nikki's POV. "She worked with death daily, yet still struggled to accept it. Maybe her job only made it harder to come to terms with."


**Thanks to my life being insane and ridiculous,I've been absent for the last few weeks and only just found time to watch Greater Love. It did not make me happy. (How bad it it that through my hysterical tears - I wish that were an exaggeration - I was thinking how Theresa & Cassie w seer buried elsewhere when they died? Because that's so important, right?!)**

**This is for Abbie, not as your birthday fic (which you will get eventually) but as an apology for it being so overdue!**

Flying out to Budapest. Flying home from Kabul. Two of the worst moments in her life. Losing Harry. Losing Leo. The only difference was that Harry came home. Leo was coming home too, but not in the same way. She was bringing Leo home. She sat beside him the whole time, numb, exhausted, grief-stricken. Switching between hours of sitting silently, praying things were different, and breaking down, her small frame shaking as tears ran down her face, dripping from her chin, soaking into the fabric of her jeans. Hours spent wondering how she'd break the news to everyone back home. Janet, even though they'd broken up, she deserved to hear from Nikki instead of seeing it on the news, or finding out from any of her colleagues. Nikki wondered if Leo would have even suggested they went out to Afghanistan if they'd still been together. Would he have put his life at risk, sacrificed himself for them all in the way he did? Harry, hearing the same message from her that she'd heard from Leo when he was in Hungary. Except Harry was much further away than she had been and, if he came back, there would be no chance of discovering Leo had faked his death. He would never be coming back. Leo was dead. Nikki wasn't sure those words would ever make sense. Leo, the man she'd looked up to, learnt from, admired, the man who'd been more of a father to her than her own had been, was gone. She didn't know where she would have ended up without him. She doubted any other head of department would have offered her a job after she invaded with a dead family for a few weeks. He saw something, Harry may have persuaded him a little, but Leo saw something and gave her a chance. How different her life for the last eight years would have been without the Lyell Centre. Without Harry. Without Leo. How different the rest of her life would be now. Harry in America, Leo in... Leo with his family once more. For her own sake she prayed there was something after death. Something so he could be with them.

She was shaken from her thoughts as the engines shifted down a gear and she felt the plane tilt. She looked across at Jack, asleep in the corner. It would be a long time before sleep took over her body, she thought. She checked her watch - they'd be landing soon. The flight home had been a strange in-between state for her, there'd been no talk of what had happened but she'd thought of little else. Hours of waiting before she could tell anyone. Her final hours alone with him.

Nikki forced back a fresh wave of tears as the plane landed. This was the last thing she'd imagined having to do. She stood as the plane came to a halt, shaking Jack gently to wake him. He hugged her briefly before picking up his bag, taking hers from her too as the rear door lowered and soldiers marched in to carry Leo back onto British soil. She ran a hand through her hair before following them, Jack only a few steps behind her. She watched in silence as Leo's coffin was loaded into a private ambulance - she'd insisted his remains were taken to the Lyell until funeral arrangements had been made. He would want to be there.

She couldn't stop the tears falling once more when she walked into his office. It was full of his possessions, his life, memories. It was so Leo. She picked up his scarf, a lone item on his coat rack, breathing in the smell of him before looping it round her neck loosely. She pulled her phone out of her bag, flicking through the contacts, her thumb hovering over Harry's number. She took a deep breath and pressed the call button, sinking into Leo's chair as she waited for the call to connect.

One ring. She ran her fingers over a photo on his desk of Harry, Leo and herself taken only a few months before Harry had left.

Two rings. She wiped the tears from her eyes, remembering how perfect everything had seemed then and how wrong it all was now.

Three rings.

"Nikki? Have you competent forgotten what I told you about time zones, it's 4am here... Nikki. Niks, are you crying?"

Hearing his voice, she needed him. She needed him to tell her it would be okay, even thought she didn't think it ever would be.

"Harry... it's Leo. Oh god, he..." She sobbed as she realised she hadn't said the words out loud yet.

"Nikki, what's happened? Is Leo alright?"

"He's dead Harry," she said quietly, sighing as she let the news sink in. "In Afghanistan, there was a suicide bomber. He saved us all. He gave his life to save us."

"Dead? Leo's dead?" She could Harry stumbling over his words in shock.

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm so sorry to have to tell you like this."

"It's... It's not your fault Nikki. I'll be there. I...I'll pack a bag, get the next flight to London."

"You don't have to, Harry," she said, much as she wanted him to come back. "Aren't you needed there?"

"Probably, but some things are more important. I have to come back. I want to. For Leo. For you." She heard him moving around, rummaging around - presumably for possessions he would need for the trip.

"Thank you. Let me know when you'll land - I'll pick you up," she said as she made her way out of Leo's office, locking the door behind her.

"Will do. Niks, I wish it were in better circumstances, but it'll be good to see you. I've missed you."

"I miss you too. Especially now."

"Oh Niks," he sighed as he heard he start to cry again, her voice giving her away. "I'll be there as soon as I can, okay, and I'll stay as long as you need me to."

She went a different way home that afternoon, only realising as she passed Leo's house. She pulled over and walked to his front door, rummaging in her bag for a spare key. She inhaled deeply before crossing the threshold, knowing that in time all of his possessions would have to be sorted through, the house would have to be sold. That would be left to her, she thought, and Harry if he was still around. His office would have to be cleared out too. It had been bad enough clearing out her father's apartment after his death the previous year, she'd never imagined having to do it for Leo. It all looked so normal inside, as if Afghanistan had never happened and he'd be coming home from work at the end of the day. Laundry waiting to be put away, the dishwasher waiting to be emptied, messages waiting for him on his answer-phone, mail waiting for replies. She'd have to go through everything, inform his bank, but that could wait. A small part of her still believed it wasn't true and he would be back. She laughed at herself. She worked with death daily, yet still struggled to accept it. Maybe her job only made it harder to come to terms with.

Drying her eyes, she headed back towards the front door, pausing to pick up his favourite jumper, casually thrown on the back of a sofa. She put it on, his smell, the warmth and roughness of the wool all so comforting. She locked the door behind her, glancing back at the house just once as she walked away. She knew he was gone, she just had to force herself to believe it.

Maybe one day.

**I realise I am rubbish at updating fics. I have plenty of one-shots on the go, just no time to finish and post them. They will make it here soon though. **

**Any reviews are always appreciated.**

**C x**


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